When you smile at someone, they usually reward you with a smile as well. But if you frown, the other person tends to walk away a little less positive than they were before.
That, my friends, is the Law of Attraction at work.
Forget the adage that opposites attract. The fact is good moods and good deeds spread like a contagion while black clouds rain on everyone’s sunny day. Wouldn’t you rather spread joy?
Think about the examples in your life. Remember when someone made you feel like a million bucks? You likely flashed a sunny smile at the next person you saw and they probably passed on that good vibe as well.
But if someone made you feel unappreciated, you probably didn’t have the positive energy to shine on anyone afterward.
Let’s focus on ways to make everyone’s days a little brighter so we all share the sunshine.
Why Do Negative Thoughts Haunt Us?
When you look back on your day, the moments of frustration or anger likely stand out as highlights. We easily forget the simple, small acts of kindness that happened as well, even though they may have lasted for the same amount of time.
People tend to relive the drama of the day, remembering the poor customer service or the uncooperative co-worker. Those negative emotions usually have a longer shelf life, even though reliving them adds to our stress levels.
Yet, we assign less value to the bright spots in our day when a stranger performed a good deed or another co-worker helped you finish a task.
You can blame your brain for this trend.
As we replay the events of the day in our heads, our brain connects synapses that usually didn’t work together. They, in turn, create associations that generate expectations and affiliations that reinforce negative thoughts.
If a certain person did something to upset you, or you had a bad experience in a specific room, your neurons will tell you to expect negative things again — even if you have had good experiences with that person or in that room previously. Subconsciously, we make the choice to be negative. Even worse, this behavior is addictive.
So, while we say we want to be happier, our brains work against us.
Instead, we need to consciously focus on the positive experiences and interactions in our days. Reflect on the nice things you heard or saw during the day and share those with your loved ones when you get home. Spread the joy.
Many people find they can train themselves to do this by writing in a gratitude journal or by thinking about five good memories from their day. If you spend more time appreciating the highlights rather than the lowlights, your brain will build fewer of those toxic synapses.
Rewire your brain
Building on the message above, keep practicing the habit of celebrating the good moments. Your goal is to become addicted to the highs generated by positive interactions rather than dark ones.
We can tell ourselves to be happy but it truly requires a commitment to rewire our brain.
Set aside time for reflection on the attributes in your life — health, family, a job, good friends, rewarding volunteer work, skill-building hobbies, fun-loving pets, a nice garden, or whatever brightens your day. It may surprise you how many things there are on your list. Write them down and review them when you waver.
6 Habits to Make You Happy
1. Stop and look inward
Take a few minutes during the day to reset your mindset with meditation.
This simple practice blocks out the world and sweeps away negative thoughts as you recover on a spiritual and emotional level. Not only does it clear your mind, but it also removes stress-related chemicals so you experience less anxiety.
Rejuvenate and find your center again, then return to a state of positive thinking that you had as a child.
2. Express gratitude
Thanking people not only makes them feel better, it makes you feel like a million bucks. Start handing out those messages as your positive calling cards.
Every day, we have endless opportunities to thank people who do us favors at work and home. Thank your spouse for doing the dishes or helping you get ready in the morning. Tell your co-workers how much you appreciate them getting a job done on time. It will also inspire them to repeat that action, which will make you even happier.
Gratitude is literally a drug. Scientists call it dopamine – an addictive chemical that overrides negativity and anxiety.
It is also a contagion that spreads more blessings to more people.
Rather than wait until the end of the day and write in your gratitude journal, drop the words “thank you” into every conversation possible. Say it at stores, volunteer gatherings, family events, and even when your dog returns a ball. It’s a great habit that you will never regret developing.
3. Be nice
Along the same lines, why be nasty when you could make another person’s day brighter? Often, we point out a mistake someone has made when we could have easily helped them correct it.
Rather than reacting in judgment and anger, be kind. Assume the person had good intentions and make their day better.
It will make you happier and lower your stress since you have one less thing to gripe about at the end of the day.
Kindness is also a contagion. Pass it on, just like the smile that goes with it.
Oh, and experiencing a nice person also makes us grateful, so all these elements tie together. Get the ball rolling by doing a kind deed for someone today and bask in the dopamine when the favor is returned.
4. Treat yourself to some ‘me time’
The more time you spend on the things you love, the happier you will be.
That means spending less time at work and more hours with families, pets, hobbies, or whatever makes you grin from ear to ear. They will bring you more joy than the items we can buy with a bigger paycheck, so check your priorities and align them with what is in your heart.
Use the energy you have to move or build or garden. Play a game rather than sitting in front of a TV or a digital screen.
Budget your time to reflect your values and you will find yourself smiling more than ever.
5. Give yourself permission to relax
Just like budgeting time for fun, make sure you cut yourself some slack to just chill out. Our lives are too focused on being “busy” when we all need to take a break to just be still.
It’s okay to get off the treadmill and watch birds outside your window. Take a leisurely stroll with no particular destination. Sit and just listen to children laughing as they play.
Doesn’t that sound wonderful? There’s no reason why you cannot do them.
All these activities will lower your stress levels, which will pay off in making you healthier in countless ways. But you need to give yourself a pass on feeling guilty about stopping to take care of yourself.
By making time to just visit with family and friends, you build up relationships that will support you. Unwinding with them will likely help you sleep better, which has its own rewards.
By making this change, you’ll also sneak in more time to adopt healthy habits like eating better, staying hydrated, and getting exercise. That’s all upside, right?
6. Join your own fan club
Don’t be shy about giving yourself an ego boost. You deserve it.
Praise yourself for doing a good deed or getting yourself dolled up. Heck, some days you’ll want to give yourself a high-five for just getting out of bed.
Being kind to yourself has the same benefits as saying nice things to others, which should also be part of your repertoire. Keep your comments reasonable so you don’t over-inflate your accomplishments but give yourself credit for what you have achieved.
You don’t have to wait for a moment just before a job interview or a life-changing moment. Just look in the mirror and say, “You look good today” or “Nice job on that presentation, Rock Star!” If it feels good, then enjoy it. If it feels awkward, ask yourself why you are being so modest.
Use the same practice when things go awry. Instead of saying, “That was a disaster,” opt for “I learned a lot from this situation.” Be kind. Be grateful you got through it. Move on. If you need to laugh at yourself, that is okay too.
Choose to be happy every day. You’ll never look back.
Reference: https://blog.mindvalley.com/the-power-of-positive-thinking/
