When you are confident, you feel like you can face a challenge and make it work. That may be as small as walking into a room full of strangers or making a speech in front of an auditorium full of people. 

But there is a fine line between adequate confidence and the narcissism that we see in some people. The key is to work within your true range of abilities and sense of self, then mirroring those traits for others to model as well, especially for our children. Once you’ve mastered the skill of exuding your belief in yourself, you will make great first impressions, be seen as more credible, and deal with high-pressure situations in a calm and capable way. 

Being confident sends a signal to you and others around you that you look good, feel good, and will do good.

Build Confidence for a Lifetime

Even if you were confident when you were younger, you can lose it as you go along your life journey. Or you can ride a wave of it that makes you feel powerful. The trick is to be able to turn it on when you walk into a new situation or if you had a chance to fully prepare to ‘wow’ a crowd with your presentation. 

It’s natural to feel anxious when you are reading a room and getting ready to navigate a network of new contacts. Block out your inner voices that tell you to doubt yourself otherwise fear will hold you back from making the most of a situation. This gets easier with practice, especially after your anticipated catastrophe does not come to pass.

Remember to boost yourself up by reviewing the wins you’ve already had in life. You are probably your harshest critic, as you set the bar high. However, focusing on the positives you bring with you will always help you cope, no matter what challenge you face. If you’re scared, acknowledge it then look at the opportunity to move past it. 

You don’t have to be great at everything to feel good about your place in the world. Share your talents where you excel and admit when you don’t have the ability to lead by example. Being honest about what you have to offer, without apology, is part of being confident.

How much is too much? Or too little?

Picture yourself in a room, talking with a network of new friends. Are you dominating the conversation as people fawn around you? Are you listening attentively as the conversation moves on without you, even when you try to interject?

Ideally, a healthy balance puts you in the midst of the conversation but sharing the spotlight with others around you. However, an overly confident person can overestimate how charming or bright they are, casting a shadow over the people around them. In addition to appearing cocky or arrogant, they often overestimate their talents and don’t produce quality work on time.

On the extreme side, a person can become a narcissist, believing they are superior to others. This often arises from insecurity. Why not tell people how great you are before they have a chance to assess that for themselves?

True confidence arises from a self-awareness of who you are and playing to your strengths. It puts you in a position of being able to accept your shortcomings and reflect on them. In the best-case scenario, you can find others to complement your capabilities and build a team to support you.

On the other hand, someone who holds back due to low confidence can miss opportunities in romance, school, or their careers. By doing so, they knock their confidence back another notch. People tend to be drawn more strongly to narcissists than individuals who are less confident since they overestimate how talented the person really is.

How to Raise Kids Who Believe in Themselves

Children – especially teens – can struggle to fit in with their peers, due to insecurity and self-doubt. School, friendships, and young romance are ever-changing minefields of immature behavior, making it hard to find a foothold. As a parent, you can help them find their way.

First of all, step back and let them try to sort it out on their own. As tempting as it may be to override their decisions, they will learn problem-solving and team-building skills by working with their peers. You can be a sounding board as they vent then work through a range of solutions. If you take the driver’s seat every time, they will never develop the confidence to tackle issues on their own.

Work with them to identify an end goal and how to reach it. Do they need to be friends with the kid who is bullying them? If not, then freeze them out. Treat mistakes as a chance to learn and recover, without lingering on the disappointment they experience. Encourage them to practice the skills they need and to persist when they really want something. Then celebrate when they reach that milestone.

Do not project your own emotions into the situation. There are probably enough coming from the parties already involved. However, do acknowledge the sentiments that arise and empathize. Your child needs to trust that you will listen to and respect their decisions and self-image. 

At times, they may bottle up their feelings, so be patient until they are willing to be vulnerable. Try to channel anger into appropriate action and keep the door open for them to ask for help, no matter what.

Reference: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/confidence