Close friends and romantic partners add so much to your quality of life, but it can be hard to allow yourself to be vulnerable when you are also dealing with a mental disorder. It takes quite a leap of faith to open yourself up, yet it is one of the best ways to cope with the uncertainty you may feel about your health.
Emotional intimacy in a healthy relationship – romantic or not – makes us feel safe. When you trust a friend with a secret or a partner with physical contact, it fosters a sense of belonging and commitment. A caring hug sends various cues to let you know you are loved and appreciated. Having that reassurance keeps you connected to the people around you and grounds you.
These types of support can help you deal better with the challenges of depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders. Unfortunately, the interrelationship between them can also undermine your health when they break down.
How It Helps You
True friendships are built on compassion, shared interests, and trust. Having a caring person as a sounding board can help you process your emotions as you struggle to understand the symptoms, then your diagnosis. Finding someone who is not judgmental about your condition is a huge stepping stone for you to accept it yourself and pursue your treatment plan. You may even find common experiences, via your friend or a family member after opening up.
On another level, humans crave physical contact, either via hugs, a supportive hand squeeze, or a satisfying sexual relationship. By having the courage to embrace another person, you are allowing yourself to be vulnerable and to be comforted. Not having this type of contact contributes to higher levels of depression and stress. By overcoming your anxiety to engage in sex is especially healthy since it rewards you with a stress-defying dose of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin that give you a natural high.
If you cannot get this type of contact, try to connect with people via phone calls, video chats, and social media platforms. To give yourself access to feel-good hormones, exercise regularly, and get eight hours of sleep per night.
On the flip side, if a friend or relative comes to you with a mental health concern, listen first, and acknowledge their trust. Once that is established, you can work together to find resources to help them get help.
Why It Doesn’t Always Work
A person struggling with social anxiety or retreating due to depression will find it harder to reach out and make new friends. Your confidence may be lower, so you turn to the same people you have known for years. As long as they are supportive, that can be helpful. Research shows that having at least five close friends, even within your family, is ideal for your mental health.
If you’ve had friendships or romances go sour, you may be avoiding intimacy. You may be relying on superficial relationships that don’t offer the depth you require to truly build trust. This is common among people who have had bad breakups, abusive relationships, or toxic friendships. By holding back, it is harder for people to relate to you, especially if you are bitter or extremely shy.
Anyone who is laying low while dealing with depression will have fewer opportunities to make these connections. You may not be avoiding people deliberately but lack the drive or energy to leave the house. Social isolation exacerbates depression as your world shrinks and your friends stop calling. As hard as it is to reach out, identify five key people (or more) and stay in touch. Don’t put the onus on them to call you, since you truly need them, and they may not know how much.
When it comes to physical intimacy, you may have lost your enthusiasm for sex, due to low energy. Your body is perhaps unable to perform and forcing it feels like a violation or can be painful. You will need to be honest with your partner about how you’re feeling, so they don’t misread your symptoms. As hard as this conversation may be, it could bring you even closer.
Whatever you do, keep taking your antidepressant medication, even if it lowers your libido. Once it starts to work more effectively, it will be worth the wait.
Again, if you see someone else going through this, try to help. Listen attentively then assist them in finding therapy or other approaches to get back out there.
These relationships all reinforce the strong bond between your body and your brain. Having rich, deep bonds makes you feel better emotionally, and your body responds by longing for contact, then releasing hormones when it receives a reward. In this case, love really is a drug and you should seek it out at all levels.
Reference: https://www.rtor.org/2019/06/28/mental-health-and-intimacy/#:~:text=Healthy%20and%20intimate%20interpersonal%20relationships,of%20certain%20mental%20health%20disorders.
