Think for a moment about what childhood is supposed to be like. Playing games based on imaginary situations. Meeting friends and engaging with them at school, on teams, in clubs, or at birthday parties. Having a routine that sets you up for good habits in your adult life.
Now, look at what our kids are going through right now.
They are periodically locked down at home while learning lessons via a computer screen. Any recess breaks they get are devoid of their friends and alliance-building games. Every day, they are bombarded with messages about the threat of coronavirus if they don’t wash their hands or hug a beloved grandparent.
As a result, children are facing mental health crises in growing numbers. Parents and educators are doing their best to shield children from the harsh reality we are living in, but it’s filtering through and creating high levels of anxiety.
These effects will linger on, long past times when we have vaccines and gingerly venture out into the world again. Consider the lessons you learned as a child, such as when to trust strangers or how to play fair. The current generation of children have lost the context for those choices since even the adults they trust can infect each other with an invisible disease. How can they internalize the rules of how to interact with their peers when they rarely see them?
All of this affects how our kids will be wired. The damage will be irreversible.
When the lockdowns began, most people agreed they were the right thing to do to slow the spread of this new contagion. But as the situation drags on, the consequences are becoming more severe.
Not only are we facing the tragedy of adults dying in hospitals, but our kids are also falling apart in isolation. They are not building the social connections that will set them up for success in life. They don’t have the resilience of life experience to help them understand the complexities of what is unfolding around them.
They feel powerless. And we need to help them before it is too late.
Already, parents are bringing their school-aged children into emergency departments since they are overwhelmed and cannot cope on their own. The rates of visits for children from ages five to 11 rose by 24 percent while teenagers sought help 31 percent more often, according to the CDC. This all happened while public health officials discouraged people from clogging up hospitals with unnecessary visits. Imagine the numbers if people were told to seek help if they needed it.
That doesn’t account for the cases that didn’t escalate to this level as parents try to deal with issues on their own or with other agencies.
It is vital to monitor the fallout from the stress created by the coronavirus and the measures taken to try to contain its spread. The introduction of new variants has raised new concerns, making it harder to look ahead past the current vaccination rollout. Delays in that program just add to worries for people of all ages.
Children struggle when faced with any crisis, whether it occurs within their family or in the broader community. They are sensitive to changes in routines and the stresses they see in the people around them. If they already had anxiety, the risks are even greater as they learn of any new dangers.
To help them cope, try these strategies:
- Let them have fun. Plan game nights and get out to play in the fresh air. Be silly.
- Make sure they ‘visit’ with friends and extended family members via phone calls or video chats. Seeing familiar faces and hearing friendly voices is very reassuring.
- Keep a routine. Structure their days so they know what to expect.
- Limit exposure to news, especially as variants emerge. They don’t need to know these details.
- Stay as positive as you can. Kids pick up on cues from people around them more than we realize. If you are calm and forward-looking, they will find it comforting.
- Reframe any bad news. Yes, you may be out of work but now you get a chance to be home to help with school. Yes, your child cannot have a big birthday party like last year, but you’ll create a new tradition that you’ll laugh about later. As hard as it may be, try to find the silver lining.
Best of luck. We know how challenging all this is and we’re rooting for you.
Resources:
https://www.webmd.com/children/news/20201113/is-the-pandemic-harming-kids-mental-health#1
https://www.thestar.com/opinion/contributors/2021/01/27/our-kids-are-becoming-broken-when-do-we-prioritize-their-well-being.html
