While friends and family members can be the people you worry about the most, they are often the first ones to come running when you need support. This give and take is part of what holds our society together.
For anyone who has moved to a new community, you will understand what the distance from your loved ones can do to shake your confidence. However, technology helps to keep us connected and caring for each other – in good times and bad.
Research supports what you feel in your heart – you are better able to cope with whatever the world throws at you if a trusted friend or relative has your back. It affects your happiness, resilience, and quality of life beyond measure.
Reach Out Rather Than Retreat
When we lose a job or a loved one, it is easy to hunker down and wallow in negative feelings. On top of the emotion of sadness or fear, you may also delve into the “nobody loves me” train of thought. If you’re lucky, you will have a persistent person who refuses to leave you alone, drawing you out of this shell.
You can also take another path.
Reaching out to others is the best way to start to feel better. Not only can they offer advice or practical ways to support you, but they can also make you laugh or remind you of happier times in your past. Those who know you well will give you the building blocks to start putting your life back together. They will remind you of the skills you have and believe in you, even when your faith in yourself wavers.
You wouldn’t want a bereaved or distraught friend to sit home alone. While it’s hard to reach out when you’re feeling low, it’s also vital. Your friends are likely waiting for a signal since they don’t want to intrude.
Think about the people who would do this for you. Who makes you laugh? Who makes you feel invincible? Who has been in a similar situation and survived to come out even stronger? Those are the first people on your list. Write them down and don’t wait for them to think of you.
Stay in Touch
The other side of this scenario is your role as a caring friend. Why sit by the phone and wonder how people are doing? Give them a call or make plans to connect with them. Don’t just like their social media posts. Those are just empty gestures. Until you hear a person’s voice, you are not really present in their lives.
If you make one call a day, you can have 30 worthwhile conversations a month. You can spread those out to various people or commit to supporting a person who is struggling. Even a 10-minute chat reminds the person that you care and boosts their state of mind.
Not only does it help them, but researchers will also tell you that it makes you feel like a million bucks too. Helping another person gives you a hit of dopamine and makes you more resilient. This is true whether you pick up your neighbor’s mail, offer advice to a friend, or help a relative with a volunteer task. They all knit you into the fabric of society and improve those bonds between you and other people.
It makes you stronger and more able to cope next time you take a hit to your confidence.
Do More Than Talk
While words have some impact, physical support is even more effective at building bonds between us. A hug is not just a hug; it’s a way to express love and support that reinforces any emotional connection and signals the brain that you are not alone.
Having a person with you during a painful or stressful time calms your brain. The closer the relationship, the more effective the act of someone holding your hand at the hospital or hugging you after a funeral. That is why people travel long distances to get home when someone is in peril. All that expense and time are worthwhile when you embrace or touch in some way.
By connecting via physical contact, the person under stress somehow shares part of the emotional burden with the trusted confidante. That makes it easier for them to cope with negative emotions.
Don’t Forget Pets
While the human connection is important, pets also offer emotional support that should not be underrated. They offer companionship and reward physical contact by purring or leaning into your hand, reminding you how much they care. Animals also provide an audience when you want to talk to someone who is non-judgmental. As a bonus, dogs also offer you a chance to get outside and walk while pets will often play with you in the house as well.
Just like human dynamics, when you give back the love to your pet, it makes you feel valued and connected.
You don’t need to have a therapy animal to reap these benefits. Pets provide entertainment, company, love, and a purpose to your life. While it may take time to have them settle into your routine, it’s worth it when they do.
Seniors who have given up their pets find great stress relief in visiting with therapy pets or neighbors’ companion animals. Even talking about their childhood pets provides them with more constructive topics of conversation than their ailing health or lonely days. All it takes is a 20-minute visit to lower their stress and boost their endorphin level.
In short, call a friend or relative daily, for their health and yours. Reach out to lonely neighbors and take your dog along. You never know when that kindness will be returned to you tenfold.
Reference: https://www.nytimes.com/guides/well/how-to-deal-with-stress
