You’re going to have just one cookie. One.

Well, maybe just one more. After all, what’s just one more? The next thing you know, the bag is empty and you’re feeling awful. Not only are you soaring from the sugar high, followed by a crash, but you know you’ve just undone all the good from eating a balanced diet all day. 

Food is more than just fuel for our bodies. Due to childhood habits and marketing campaigns, it comes with memories and associations that help us through good and bad days. Plus, certain ingredients make us feel better in the short term, although we pay for them later. This emotional eating just leads to a cycle of worse decisions unless we learn how to rein it in. After all, you rarely dig into a bowl of salad when you’re feeling stressed or bored, do you?

Instead, we pack our faces when we are bored or stressed. We reward ourselves with candy or a greasy burger if we had a win (or weirdly, a weight loss). You don’t even need to be hungry, but you cannot stop yourself from eating until you are far beyond full. Face it, you’re an emotional eater.

Breaking the Cycle

Ideally, we should only eat when we are hungry, turning to nutritious foods that provide the perfect balance of nutrients and vitamins. But that rarely happens to an emotional eater. The first step is to identify why you are eating and to attune yourself better to the signals your body is sending out.

Since your body is burning calories, it tells you that it is getting hungry and provides ample warning that it is going to want to eat soon. However, when your emotions run the show, they want food NOW. And they want the good stuff: chocolate, candy, greasy fries, or mashed potatoes. You lose track of how much you’re eating since your mind is focused on the problem you’re facing. If you were responding to physical hunger, you would have noticed that you were feeling full.

In order to figure out the root cause for this habit, you could begin a food journal. This record will provide more than a list of when and what you ate. It captures what emotions you felt and asks you to gauge your level of physical hunger between 1 and 10. Once you stop to write this down, you may see that the late-night pizza binge happens after a dreaded weekly meeting at work, or after you watch The Bachelorette. Soon, you can identify patterns and resolve to change them.

Why Am I Doing This?

Stress fires you up with reactionary hormones that make you crave salt, sugar, and grease to appease them. Not only do you eat poorly, but you eat more quickly without enjoying what you’re scarfing down. By addressing the trigger of your stress and resolving it with deep breathing or a short walk, you blow off some steam and get yourself away from the candy dish.

Numbing your emotions by feeding them has been a tradition since the first bad breakup. If you feel sad or lonely or any other negative emotion, you may not be ready to express it. Instead, you bury it with food. Boredom has the same effect since you are filling yourself with things that are supposed to make you feel better. It’s time to face your feelings, for the sake of your physical and mental health.

Nostalgia is a powerful force that convinces us that you must have a giant turkey at Thanksgiving or the biggest ice cream cone possible after your team wins a game. These habits are hard to break since they come with a special afterglow. You can change your ways, even by scaling back on the celebration. Do you really need day-long snacks leading up to Thanksgiving dinner? It actually tastes much better if you dive in on an empty stomach.

Peer pressure can push you to take one more serving of Gramma’s pie or help a friend finish off a platter of nachos. If you’re nervous at a social gathering, you may also nosh more than usual. Try nibbling rather than taking handfuls of food. Count to 20 between when you swallow and when you reach for another morsel. Slowing yourself down shows some self-restraint while you refine that skill.

Retraining Your Brain 

Going on a diet is the go-to habit but clearly you’re not wired to eat rationally and to a plan at this point. By depriving yourself, you set yourself up for a relapse that will trigger a new round of shame, starting the process all over again. The recovery begins by addressing your emotions and how you handle them. Armed with lessons from your food journal, try these alternatives:

• If you’re feeling alone, call a friend who will cheer you up or do something to connect with someone else, like going through old photos.
• If you’re restless, keep your hands busy by working on a craft or a puzzle. Do some exercise or dance like nobody’s watching. Laugh at yourself, in a good way.
• If you’re tired, let yourself collapse. Crawl into a warm bath and head to bed early. Your body is telling you it’s worn out so don’t try to awaken it with food it doesn’t need.
• If you’re bored, challenge yourself to do something off your bucket list. By just planning it, you’ll distract yourself and fill some time. Even better, schedule activities so you fill your nights with fun times, even if it’s just for you.
• If you cave, put a small amount of food in a bowl and go eat it in a different room. Savor each bite as you slowly chew and swallow. Pause when you’re done to see if you feel any pangs of hunger. Then go wash the bowl and leave the kitchen for the night.
• No matter what your mood, stop yourself from taking that first bite and do something completely different. Go for a walk. Clean out a closet. Soon, you will forget about the craving.
• Deal with your problems rather than hiding from them. Talk to a friend then a therapist, if needed. You need to cure the issue rather than treating the symptoms.

Healthy Habits to Help You

When you’re rested and feeling balanced, you’re in a better position to fight off cravings and develop stronger will power.

• Create a new habit of sleeping eight hours every night. Now you won’t need to prop up your energy levels with extra calories.
• Eat small meals throughout the day so you don’t binge. By keeping your blood sugar levels more even, you feel calmer and more stable.
• Exercise daily. Not only does it keep you busy, but it also blows off stress and helps you cope better when bad things happen.
• Give yourself permission to relax. You don’t need to have your hands busy all the time. Hit the pause button and revel in the quiet. Listen to your thoughts as you concentrate on an object in front of you. Soak in a bath or lay on the floor with your cat. Whatever works for you, do it.
• Stay in touch with friends and family. They will make you feel better, whether you’re sharing an annual feast or not. Be grateful they are in your life and call them when you’re feeling bored or lonely. You are not alone.

References: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/diets/emotional-eating.htm